But I have two co-workers who have the most irritating laughs. One of them is two desks over and is always on the phone, giggling. The worst part is my own reaction: I’m irritated partly because he sounds effeminate, or out of touch with his masculinity, or maybe just plain out of touch with his body. And I think I shouldn’t react this way, but I do. (He’s straight, straight-looking, straight-acting; but I am morally convinced that his laugh would be just as irritating if he were a flaming queen.) And he’s of South Asian descent, so I worry about those awful stereotypes of South Asian men and their ridiculous attempts at masculinity. Every time I hear his helpless giggle – about every five minutes – I shudder. For both of us. I keep hoping that I’ll get used to it, but I haven’t yet and he’s been here since at least July.
The other guy is just not very bright and has a direct line between his brain and his mouth. There is absolutely no censorship or editing or attempt to be comprehensible: if something resembling a thought has twitched somewhere in the depths of his mind, a running commentary is generated in real time – whether or not there is anyone around to listen. And he sniggers at everything he says. Fortunately someone has moved to the desk next to him so he has someone to talk to now: he used to hang around us a lot and talk – or whatever – to us. So now even when he comes around and does his thing, I know he’s going away again and it doesn’t bother me nearly as much as it used to.
Just thought I’d get that off my chest.
[originally transmitted November 13, 2002]