(Alison’s observations at the end.)
——Start of Forwarded Message ———
From: “Sheila Fischman” <___ @aei.ca>The Truth About Men (finally)
1. The nice men are ugly.
2. The handsome men are not nice.
3. The handsome and nice men are gay.
4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think women are only after their money.
7. The handsome men without money are after a women’s money.
8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don’t think women are beautiful enough.
9. The men who think women are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
10.The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!
11.The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in women when women take the initiative.
NOW, YOU CAN UNDERSTAND MEN.
——End of Forwarded Message ———
Note that there is a single straight men’s corollary: THE DECENT WOMEN ARE TOO DAMN PICKY! We should agree to have monogamous, no-strings-attached sex with antisocial, indigent men who neglect their own health. The fact that we don’t proves that women are SELFISH AND UNREALISTIC, and is the ultimate proof that feminists are RUINING SOCIETY.
So, go ahead and have sex with an antisocial, indigent, self-neglecting man: he’ll be grateful and you’ll be in control of the relationship, seeing him only when you want to. If it doesn’t work out – if he ungratefully complains about your insufficiently perfect figure – dump him. Have an affair with a married man instead.
[originally tramsmitted by e-mail September 13, 2002]